Mum’s cutlery habit sparks fierce debate as some brand it ‘lazy’ and ‘rude’

A mum whose husband told her she doesn’t use a knife and fork ‘properly’ says she now avoids eating in front of his family through fear of being judged – and it’s really divided opinion among others.

The woman explains that she is right handed, but has always held a fork in her right hand and the knife in her left as it ‘felt comfortable’ and she had never been told otherwise.

She wrote: “For years my partner has joked about how I can’t hold a knife and fork properly and even mentioned trying it the other way. I’ve tried – it doesn’t feel right to me.

“He told me that his mother would probably tell me to switch hands as it’s her ‘pet hate’. We’ve been together for 9 years. He’s not mentioned it for a while (until tonight) and I’ve avoided eating in front of his mother as much as possible else I feel paranoid. Feel like I’m being watched!

“Generally my table manners are okay I think. I’m not a complete slob when It comes to eating or anything! Am I being unreasonable to think it really doesn’t matter?”

But as she sought support, some people had some very strong replies in the comments on Mumsnet. One said: “Well I’d definitely notice and judge you for it I’m afraid. It’s about table manners. ‘It isn’t comfortable for me’ is a bit of a pathetic excuse.”

A second replied: “I would consider you being rude to eat like this outside your own home, it shows disregard for social norms and disrespect to your hosts and general laziness that you can’t be bothered spending a bit of time learning to do it properly.”


And another added: “I don’t see what’s wrong with making an effort to hold your knife and fork properly tbh. Other cultures hold each other up to high standards and I’m not sure why that’s so wrong. We can all pretend we don’t judge or it’s no big deal but there is an established way to hold a knife and fork so why not just follow it?”

But plenty of others argued back to say they also hold a fork in their left hand, writing: “Do what you feel most comfortable and ignore comments from small minded people.”

Another added: “I’m right handed but wear my watch on my right wrist. I’m forever being told that’s wrong. Just because it’s different doesn’t mean its wrong.”